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Prevention Specialists Prevention specialists work with communities to reduce youth substance use or misuse through education on risk and protective factors that affect youth development and through the planning, implementing, and evaluating policies and programs that promote protective factors and reduce risk factors. Everything is done to encourage our youth's health and well-being and provide them with opportunities for success. ​ To request a presentation or to learn more about prevention services in your area, contact a Prevention Specialists in your County. Learn About Prevention Services Prevention Toolkits

Leadership Colleen Rudio Interim Executive Administrator Patrick Maidman, MD Medical Director Lois Macias RHIA, MHA Chief Program Officer Callie Holleran, RN Director, Nursing Keri Stephanoff, LCSW, LCPC, LBA, BCBA, CMHPP Director, CFSN, MH Outpatient, Day Treatment, Case Management Kari Auclair, MS Director, PACT/MACT, PATH, Residential Group Homes TBD Chief Financial Officer Cory DeStein, LPN Chief Administrative Officer TBD Director, Human Resources TBD Director, Information Services Ryan Bailey Director, Support Services Jillian Henderson, LSCW, LAC, CMHPP Director, SUD and Crisis Programs

Adults Living with a Mental Health Condition in Montana Western Montana Mental Health Center is an integrated community-based mental health center offering a comprehensive range of services to adults living with mental health conditions in Montana. Adult Mental Health Application Mental Health Conditions Can Be Managed ​ Common mental health conditions include: Anxiety spectrum disorders. These include generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), phobias, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Bipolar Disorder Borderline Personality Disorder Depression Schizophrenia ​ Western Montana Mental Health Center's personalized therapeutic treatment programs include an in-depth assessment, inpatient crisis stabilization, individual therapy, group therapy, residential housing, jail diversion, psychiatric/medication management, school-based programs and peer support services. Our programs are designed to help manage mental health conditions and overcome the lack of direction that may accompany it. Get the help you deserve. Request a free confidential callback within 1 business day. Get Help Now If you are having a medical emergency call 911. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 988. Adult Treatment Services Mission, Vision, and Values Our Mission: To build thriving communities through compassionate, whole-person, expert care. Our Vision: We are the premiere community provider, employer and partner in comprehensive behavioral health services. Our Values: Empathy. Integrity. Respect. Growth About Since we opened our doors in 1971, we have been driven by the unwavering goal of providing behavioral healthcare that meets the needs of the people we serve throughout Western Montana. We’ve stayed true to our commitment to providing person-centered and evidence-based care in community settings. We’ve remained dedicated to doing what is right, not what is easy or profitable. We have fulfilled our unique role – as a licensed community-based mental health center – to be Western Montana’s behavioral healthcare “safety net." We tirelessly advocate for the rights of individuals to have access to integrated services that help people overcome despair and choose hope. The only thing that has changed since our inception almost 50 years ago is how much we’ve grown. From service delivery provided in 5 counties by 20 staff, we now have almost 800 employees serving over 15,000 clients in 15 counties. We have a much more comprehensive offering of services, with 25 programs to meet the needs of people across the continuum of age and need. And, since 2016, we now have the capability of providing services using telemedicine technology, meaning better access for clients and more effective use of scarce resources. All clinical services are reviewed and licensed annually by the State of Montana. Special grants are available to offset the cost of services for consumers who are financially eligible. Services are billed to Insurance, Medicaid, Grants, and self. Governance Western Montana Mental Health Center operates as a not-for-profit, tax-exempt, public purpose corporation (501)(c)(3). The Board of Directors meets monthly to assure effective governance and administration of all Center interests. The public is invited to attend meetings. Participating counties include: Flathead, Sanders, Lake, Mineral, Missoula, Ravalli, Granite, Powell, Deer Lodge, Silver Bow, Gallatin, Madison and Park. History Originally, the State Department of Institutions funded and administered five community mental health clinics in the state. One of the clinics was located in Missoula and was housed in the basement of the Student Health Center at the University of Montana. This clinic, with a staff of six, was responsible for serving the counties of Western Montana. Services were almost exclusively outpatient and, due to the limited staff, outreach efforts throughout the Region were very minimal. The expectation was that clients would commute to Missoula where services would be provided within the clinic. There are old records suggesting that the clinic opened in 1942. Employees of this clinic were all staff members of the State of Montana and they answered directly to the superintendent of the Warm Springs State Hospital. There was considerable isolation of the staff as direct contact with the State Hospital was minimal. Federal Involvement Montana's interest in the development of comprehensive community mental health centers was sparked by the Joint Commission on Mental Illness and Health that was established by Congress under the Mental Health Study Act of 1955. Montana received funds to study its mental health needs and resources, and for a five-year period, effort was devoted towards the development of a plan which would provide effective services to the residents of Montana. With the passage of federal staffing and construction grant programs by Congress in 1963, the Montana State legislature passed complementary bills which enabled the State to become a responsible partner with the federal government in the establishment of regional mental health centers. Five mental health regions were established within the state and Boards, comprised of a county commissioner from each county within the Region, designated as the authority for governance of the community-based mental health programs. On July 15, 1969, the Western Montana Regional Community Mental Health Center Board submitted to the National Institute of Mental Health an application requesting federal staffing grant funds under the provision of Public Law 89-105. The program was approved on September 1, 1969. Western initiated services on January 1, 1971, utilizing local, state, and federal funds. Offices were opened in Ravalli, Lake, Sanders, Flathead and Lincoln Counties, in addition to the existing Missoula-based outpatient office. The original (1971) staff numbered 20 including: 11 clinicians; 7 clerical workers; a business manager, and regional director. Billing and Financial Services For information on treatment costs, insurance, resources if you are uninsured, and payment options, click here. How do you know if you or someone you care about has a mental health condition? Contact us to for a free confidential assessment. Our team will contact you within 1 business day to discuss the issues you or your loved one are experiencing and how Western Montana Mental Health Center can help. Get Help Now Mental Health Facts 1 in 5 1 Americans live with a serious mental health condition or long-term recurring major depression 1 in 25 2 Americans experience some form of mental illness in any given year Recovery is not only possible, it is essential. Get the help you deserve. Mental Health Application Insurance & Payment What to Expect Get Help Now All information submitted is 100% confidential. 1. Any Mental Illness (AMI) Among Adults. (n.d.). Retrieved May 1, 2019, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/mental-illness.shtml#part_15478 2. Serious Mental Illness (SMI) Among Adults. (n.d.). Retrieved May 1, 2019, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/mental-illness.shtml#part_154788 ​ Adult Day Treatment | Adult Group Homes | Crisis Stabilization Facility | Client Housing | Drop-In Center | Emergency Services | Jail Diversion | Outpatient Therapy | Peer Support Program Of Assertive Community Treatment (PACT) | Psychiatric/Medication Management Services | Vocational Services ​ ​

TBD Director, Human Resources ​

Get the help you deserve. Request a free confidential callback within 1 business day. Get Help Now If you are having a medical emergency call 911. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 988. Adults Living with Substance Use Disorders Western Montana Mental Health Center offers programs and treatment options for adults suffering from addiction to alcohol or drugs, also known as Substance Use Disorders (SUD). All SUD services use evidenced-based interventions to promote a healing recovery process for clients and their families. ​ ​ Adult Substance Use Application The Journey to Recovery Begins Here Western Montana Mental Health Center treats clients struggling with substance use involving: Alcohol Benzodiazepines (alprazolam, clonazepam, lorazepam, diazepam) Heroin and prescription opioids (oxycodone, morphine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and fentanyl) Marijuana Stimulants (cocaine, amphetamine (Adderall, Ritalin) methamphetamine) ​ Treatment programs include an initial assessm ent, medication for opioid use disorder (MOUD), residential housing, individual therapy, group therapy, and community support. ​ Adult Treatment Services Mission, Vision, and Values Our Mission: To build thriving communities through compassionate, whole-person, expert care. Our Vision: We are the premiere community provider, employer and partner in comprehensive behavioral health services. Our Values: Empathy. Integrity. Respect. Growth About Since we opened our doors in 1971, we have been driven by the unwavering goal of providing behavioral healthcare that meets the needs of the people we serve throughout Western Montana. We’ve stayed true to our commitment to providing person-centered and evidence-based care in community settings. We’ve remained dedicated to doing what is right, not what is easy or profitable. We have fulfilled our unique role – as a licensed community-based mental health center – to be Western Montana’s behavioral healthcare “safety net." We tirelessly advocate for the rights of individuals to have access to integrated services that help people overcome despair and choose hope. The only thing that has changed since our inception almost 50 years ago is how much we’ve grown. From service delivery provided in 5 counties by 20 staff, we now have almost 800 employees serving over 15,000 clients in 15 counties. We have a much more comprehensive offering of services, with 25 programs to meet the needs of people across the continuum of age and need. And, since 2016, we now have the capability of providing services using telemedicine technology, meaning better access for clients and more effective use of scarce resources. All clinical services are reviewed and licensed annually by the State of Montana. Special grants are available to offset the cost of services for consumers who are financially eligible. Services are billed to Insurance, Medicaid, Grants, and self. Governance Western Montana Mental Health Center operates as a not-for-profit, tax-exempt, public purpose corporation (501)(c)(3). The Board of Directors meets monthly to assure effective governance and administration of all Center interests. The public is invited to attend meetings. Participating counties include: Flathead, Sanders, Lake, Mineral, Missoula, Ravalli, Granite, Powell, Deer Lodge, Silver Bow, Gallatin, Madison and Park. History Originally, the State Department of Institutions funded and administered five community mental health clinics in the state. One of the clinics was located in Missoula and was housed in the basement of the Student Health Center at the University of Montana. This clinic, with a staff of six, was responsible for serving the counties of Western Montana. Services were almost exclusively outpatient and, due to the limited staff, outreach efforts throughout the Region were very minimal. The expectation was that clients would commute to Missoula where services would be provided within the clinic. There are old records suggesting that the clinic opened in 1942. Employees of this clinic were all staff members of the State of Montana and they answered directly to the superintendent of the Warm Springs State Hospital. There was considerable isolation of the staff as direct contact with the State Hospital was minimal. Federal Involvement Montana's interest in the development of comprehensive community mental health centers was sparked by the Joint Commission on Mental Illness and Health that was established by Congress under the Mental Health Study Act of 1955. Montana received funds to study its mental health needs and resources, and for a five-year period, effort was devoted towards the development of a plan which would provide effective services to the residents of Montana. With the passage of federal staffing and construction grant programs by Congress in 1963, the Montana State legislature passed complementary bills which enabled the State to become a responsible partner with the federal government in the establishment of regional mental health centers. Five mental health regions were established within the state and Boards, comprised of a county commissioner from each county within the Region, designated as the authority for governance of the community-based mental health programs. On July 15, 1969, the Western Montana Regional Community Mental Health Center Board submitted to the National Institute of Mental Health an application requesting federal staffing grant funds under the provision of Public Law 89-105. The program was approved on September 1, 1969. Western initiated services on January 1, 1971, utilizing local, state, and federal funds. Offices were opened in Ravalli, Lake, Sanders, Flathead and Lincoln Counties, in addition to the existing Missoula-based outpatient office. The original (1971) staff numbered 20 including: 11 clinicians; 7 clerical workers; a business manager, and regional director. Billing and Financial Services For information on treatment costs, insurance, resources if you are uninsured, and payment options, click here. How do you know if you or someone you care about has an addiction? Contact us to for a free confidential assessment. Our team will contact you within 1 business day to discuss the issues you or your loved one are experiencing and how Western Montana Mental Health Center can help. Get Help Now Substance Use Facts 1 in 7 Americans will misuse alcohol and/or drugs in their lifetime 3 Recovery is not only possible, it is essential. Get the help you deserve. Substance Use Application Insurance & Payment What to Expect Get Help Now All information submitted is 100% confidential. 3. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), Office of the Surgeon General, Facing Addiction in America: The Surgeon General's Report on Alcohol, Drugs, and Health. Washington, DC: HHS, November 2016. https://addiction.surgeongeneral.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-generals-report.pdf ​ ACT (DUI) Program | Misdemeanor Dangerous Drug (MDD) Services | Outpatient Programs | Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT) | Inpatient Substance Use Disorder | Community Prevention Services ​ ​ Outpatient Programs | Community Prevention Services | Missoula Flagship Program ​

Sanders County - Thompson Falls, Plains < Prev Next > WMMHC- Thompson Falls 602 Preston Ave, Thompson Falls, MT 59873, USA Call: (406) 532-9190 Fax: (406) 206-5133 Email: administration@wmmhc.org

Lisa's Story I grew up in domestic violence. Since I can remember I used alcohol from a very young age in grade school. My mom always provided us with a home and structure, but no emotional support. She wasn’t there emotionally for us, which I think is what led to me drinking and using drugs. I was never happy at home so I ran away and got in trouble a lot. I was really smart in school. They wanted to advance me to the 2nd grade, but my mom didn’t. By the time, I was in middle school, I think I was bored. ​ I dropped out of school and started getting in trouble. I never went to high school. By 18, I had my first baby. She passed away. From 16 to 18, I wasn’t too heavy into drugs. But after 18, I had my baby and I really wanted a baby. I was with the kids’ dad. He’s the father of all my children and we have seven kids now. She passed away at 11 months old. I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was very unhealthy emotionally. I didn’t know that then. I didn’t know how to have relationships or communicate. ​ I started using drugs heavily after I lost my baby. I went to treatment when my two oldest kids were about 1 and 2. I went to treatment in Seattle, but I never really worked on myself. I just went through the motions and tried to do what people wanted me to do. Ever since I was little, I just wanted to be okay. I wanted people to be happy with me. I never felt okay with myself until I started here with Kim. ​ I’ve only been sober for about three years out of my life except for now. I got my GED really easily and took the test without studying. I’ve always been really smart and logical and independent. When I set my mind to it, things came really easily. ​ In 2012, I went to the University for about three years. Then I got back with my kids’ father and started using drugs again. We had three more kids. We were just using heavily and drinking. I never knew what a healthy relationship was. I repeated what I grew up with and my mom lived in domestic violence. I saw the same cycle with me. Eventually I got to the point where I left and wanted help. ​ I started doing outpatient. I knew I needed help and knew I needed inpatient. I was at a very low point in my life. I still continued to use and I was only sober for a few months. Then CPS took my three little kids and that was devastating. They’d never taken my kids. I grew up here my whole life. They had my kids for two months and then I got them back. ​ Maybe that’s what I needed, but it was really hard. Since I’ve been here, I’ve been working on myself a lot. Kim has really helped me with both mental health and addiction. I’ve been through a lot of addictions and trying to come off of drugs and be sober and have a good life for my kids. You can’t do it unless you take a look at yourself and be accountable for the damage you’ve done to yourself and your kids. You can’t get past it unless you own it and be accountable for it. ​ I want to break the cycle of addiction in my family. I have an 18 year old. On her birthday, she made the decision and she and her daughter moved into a group home. She had started using meth and I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I had to get myself healthy. I didn’t want my kids to start using. Now, I’m 40 years old and just getting the skills I need. ​ I knew I needed help. My daughter was out there using and she lost her daughter. She got an opportunity to be responsible. On her 18th birthday, she took that opportunity and went to a transitional living center in Missoula. I am so proud of her. My other daughter is very proud of me and I see the hope in their eyes again, because I’m here in recovery and sober and doing what I need to do. ​ I’ve always wanted to break the cycle of dysfunction in my family. You just need to work on it honestly and work on yourself. What keeps me sober is the desire to have a good life and I don’t want my kids to go through what I went through. My mom did the best she could with the tools she had. I know if she had better tools that she would have used them. ​ I’ve used drugs a long time in my life and I’ve had a lot of highs and a lot of lows, but nothing feels better than being sober and in recovery and celebrating life. Nothing feels better than being proud of my part in my kids’ lives and I want them to be proud of me. It feels a lot better than drugs. ​ I’m learning the skills and using them and passing them on to my kids. Everyone makes their own choices and they’re going to do what they want, but at least I know I did my part. It’s all about empowering myself and my kids. It’s about being assertive and setting boundaries. It’s usually been easy for me to get back on my feet but I finally got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I was doing it for everyone else and couldn’t do it for myself. All I’ve ever wanted was to have my family together, have a piece of land, and have a house. I had all of that and I wasn’t happy, my family wasn’t happy, so I had to make the decision to let it go. If you’re not healthy, it’s not going to work. ​ From here, I want to finish school. I just have a couple of semesters to get my business degree. I want my own business. I want to be able to support myself and be there for my kids and my life and my granddaughter. I think God sent me a gift right here. My tubes were tied and I still got pregnant with her so she’s a miracle baby. ​ If it wasn’t for the Nest, I don’t know where I would be right now. I was angry, upset, and I needed help and somewhere safe to be with my kids. There need to be more programs like this because there are a lot of mothers who want to be with their kids and they don’t know where to go to get clean and be with their kids. I want the other mothers to know that there is help out there. I know a lot of people feel hopeless, but there needs to be more help like this. I didn’t realize how I wasn’t a good mom until I came here and realized how much they were missing. Just the reality of taking my kids from me, it made me work harder at getting to where I am today. I couldn’t stand life without my kids. It’s not easy, but it’s a lot easier than doing drugs the rest of my life. ​ I have 18-year-old, a 17-year-old, a 15-year-old and one that’s 12. These two are five right now and then the baby. I can call them at night and tell them I love them and I’m proud of them. The 17 and 15-year-old are with my mom until I get out of here. I thought maybe I needed to get away from home for treatment but I’m actually glad I stayed, because I grew up in this area and I feel really comfortable here. It’s nice to have this opportunity to get help here. Having the services right here on the Reservation is really awesome. I want to be around my family so I’m happy I’m getting the help here. ​ I want to help people express themselves and their artistic abilities. I’m going to help people make clothing and jewelry to express their own artistic abilities. There are a lot of people with a lot of skills who don’t use them. I know how to bead and make jewelry, and I know a lot of people who know how to do that and they deserve credit for that. I want to give back to the community. So I want to learn grant writing and give back to the community. ​ I felt hopeless. I was in a relationship that was going nowhere. We were miserable. We love each other, but we were miserable. We were both using. I didn’t want to live this life and see my kids suffer. I was losing all my self-respect and confidence. I tried on my own and I couldn’t do it. I learned about the programs through word of mouth and then Kim told me about the Nest where I could have my kids. I thought I was going to have to go out of state. I had no strength, no hope, no self-esteem and I knew I needed help. ​ If this wasn’t here, my kids would have been in foster care longer because I really didn’t know where to go or where to turn. I was losing myself. My cousin was just honest with me and said if you don’t straighten up and do this, you’re going to lose everything. I knew it was true. I was going to lose my kids and I feel so bad for women who have lost their kids. They just don’t know where to go for help. I found the help I needed and I wasn’t going to stop until I did. ​ My kids love it here. They feel safe. They’re happy. They’re just happy to be here with their mom and be safe. They weren’t safe when I was using. I feel like there is hope now. My older daughter is following my example. This was what I needed to do to become the mom I needed to be. If I was still using, she’d probably be following me in those footsteps. I want to be a support for my kids and other women. ​ I don’t know one woman who lost their kids who would choose that if they had their kids. They just don’t know what to do or where to go. They don’t know how to deal with their lives. Some of them have been through so much trauma and abuse. I was lucky to have role models for morals and values. My grandpa was a really good man and he was always there for us, but some people don’t have that. ​ If I stay honest and accountable then my kids will respect me and look up to me. I’m really excited about my life now. I’m excited to see what we’re capable of. We need to break the cycles of our families’ addictions and dysfunction. < Previous Story Next Story>

Peer Advisory Council (PAC) ​ Would you like to see changes to Mental Health and Substance Abuse treatment in your community? WE WOULD TOO! ​ Western Montana Mental Health Center invites you to be a part of our Peer Advisory Council. For more information, please download the informational brochure below or contact Nikki Hamilton at: ​ Email: pac@wmmhc.org Tel: 406-546-0521 ​ PAC Informational Brochure ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Meeting Thursday, March 28, 2024 Missoula, Montana The Salvation Army Missoula 355 S. Russell St., Missoula 1:00pm-3:00pm ​ Refreshments will be served Meetings are open to the P ublic ​ To Join Us Remotely Join Zoom Meeting https://wmmhc.zoom.us/j/2926586829 Meeting ID: 292 658 6829 ​ ​ 2024 Schedule ​ March 28th: Missoula May 23rd: Butte July 25th: Libby September 26th: Hamilton November 21st: Kalispell ​ All meetings will be at 1:00pm until 3:00pm, some will be held in person and via Zoom. ​ ​ ​ ​ Meet Our Staff About Contact Us

Laura's Story I have struggled with some fashion of addiction since I was 13. It started with an eating disorder. I was anorexic and then later on, bulimic. I struggled privately with that for a number of years. I started drinking in high school as a way to fit in. I never felt comfortable in my skin, as if I didn’t know who I was. It was like there was somebody I was seeking, so that was my identity for a long time. My brother took his own life when I was 10. He was 14. That was difficult; it’s still difficult. I think that was a catalyst for things. I think my struggle with addiction would have happened eventually anyway but I think that’s how the battle began. ​ I drank a little bit in high school and my drinking really took off my senior year. I went to college and continued my drinking spree. I managed to do well academically, but I just couldn’t quite handle everyday life. I suffered from anxiety and depression, but I didn’t know that because I’d never sought any help. As the years progressed, my drinking and eating disorder got worse, never better. I began drinking every night. I waited tables in the evenings and would then go to the bars afterwards; wake up; go to school; go to work, and then go out again. I was burning the candle at both ends. This continued on in some fashion for many years. ​ I desperately wanted and needed treatment for my eating disorder, so I went when I was 26. My father had taken his life a few months prior. This was a big catalyst and I hit a rock bottom of sorts, but I didn’t see the issue as also being addicted to alcohol. On my intake eval form at the treatment center, they asked me about substance abuse issues. All the questions they asked, I identified with, but drinking was my last safeguard and I was certainly not going to give that up. ​ While in treatment, I vowed to myself that when I returned home I wouldn’t drink. This declaration was to the satisfaction of my family who frequently showed concern about my drinking, which was highly insulting to me. I didn’t realize how obvious my problem had become to everyone else but me. ​ My dad had a lot of mental health issues and never sought any help, which was a big factor in my decision to do so and then to focus on recovery. It was important to me because it wasn’t something he did. Admitting he (or I later on) needed help felt taboo and had a certain stigma attached. When I finally chose to admit I couldn’t do this on my own, I could see how different his life could have been if he had asked for help. ​ I desperately wanted to have a happy life. The only way I could get remotely close to it was by chasing it through addiction and over time even that couldn’t bring relief. But, there was just a small glimpse of hope I held on to. It was a feeling of joy, true happiness, and that all the heaviness could be lifted. I didn’t know how I could ever possibly get to it, but I knew it was out there somewhere. ​ After going to treatment, I got into a relationship with a recovering alcoholic. I still didn’t think I had a drinking problem. We lived together for a while. I didn’t have a job, so I just starting drinking and smoking cigarettes all day. I would try and sober up by the time he got home. I managed to do that for about six months or so and then things gradually got worse. I started hiding alcohol around the house and started drinking 24 hours a day. I would go through a liter of vodka every day or so. I would just mix it in with Gatorade to keep a constant “drunk” throughout the day. ​ Eventually, I was admitted to the hospital to detox, and then took a trip to the psychiatric unit. I felt pretty hopeless. I didn’t want to live anymore. I wasn’t necessarily suicidal; I was just hopeless. Living just felt like too much effort and trouble. To help remedy my despair, I attended the Recovery Center of Missoula and it was a really good experience but I still wasn’t mentally in a place where I had fully accepted the entire realm of recovery. After my second round of treatment, I stayed sober for about a month before relapsing. I drank all day and then really went off the deep end and felt I really was hopeless. So, I started to cut my forearms and passed out. In the meantime, I had been talking to my sister on the phone and told her I was going to “end it.” No one knew my exact location and the worry and horror I put so many through that night is still difficult for me to fathom. At the time, I felt as though they weren’t the ones with the problem, so how could they possibly understand? I really hurt my family and I had no idea the extent to which they felt shattered until I began my recovery. ​ After my relapse, I was again admitted to a psychiatric ward. I’d burnt all my bridges, but my mother had allowed me to come back once I was released. I ended up in a hotel room down in Missoula. I hid out there until they found me and once again dropped me off at the Recovery Center of Missoula. And that time, getting help stuck. It was then that I could finally connect with that glimpse of happiness that I had sought for so long, and I have continued to build upon that glimpse of a good life since my sobriety date of April 7, 2014. ​ After my last round at treatment, I landed in the Hands of Hope house and living with other newly sober people truly helped save my life. They directly and indirectly helped me build a foundation for my recovery. Also, being active in a 12-step program has been instrumental in my survival. I have seen others that struggled addiction and other mental health issues lose those battles. Hearing the detriments of relapsing again and witnessing others was/is difficult to watch. However, being witness to both successful and unsuccessful sobriety helps keep me sober. ​ There have been a lot of challenges in recovery. I had to file for bankruptcy. I had to foreclose on my house. Someone I dated took his life shortly after I broke it off. I really took that personally-like it was my fault. Drinking to overcome the shame and guilt was enticing. Through the network of support I had built, I knew numbing my fears and emotions wouldn’t help. That, in fact, there was a chance I wouldn’t survive. ​ There was also a period in sobriety when I allowed all the important aspects of my recovery to fade away. Because I was slowly allowing this disease to win, I lost sight of how important following a 12-step program, attending the Recovery Center, and asking for help were. One of my flaws is that I can get bored. Or, I can feel like life is almost too good so that I self-sabotage. So, identifying my triggers and using tools that I have learned in recovery is detrimental. Maintaining a solution that works for me, finding connectivity in friendship and in my surroundings, and being the luckiest dog mom in the world helps keep me sober. ​ I now give myself permission to be happy. I give myself permission to go out and enjoy the day. I give myself permission to go swimming, to take my dog for walks, and I give myself permission to be myself in front of other people and to feel comfortable doing that. I now understand I’m the only one that can ultimately give myself permission. And, I’m the only one who, by isolating myself from the important things in life, can take that permission away. Over time, life gets better. It’s difficult sometimes to see where I was and where I am now. I know life isn’t perfect. It won’t always be easy. It’s just so much better. < Previous Story Next Story>

Kari Auclair, MS Director, PACT/MACT, PATH, Residential Group Homes mailto:kauclair@wmmhc.org ​

Keri Stephanoff, LCSW, LCPC, LBA, BCBA, CMHPP Director, CFSN, MH Outpatient, Day Treatment, Case Management ​

Joe's Story I grew up in Shelby on Montana’s Hi-Line. We still have a ranch up there. It is very cold, very beautiful and very windy. I never felt like I fit in. I was not an athlete. When you have a town with 3,000 people and a gymnasium that seats 5,000, you have a sense of priority. Like many people, alcohol helped me fit in in late middle school, early high school years. And certainly, there were no consequences for my alcohol use except for the positive ones of being able to suddenly be kind of cool and have friends. ​ In high school, that was kind of the scene, but in a sense, mine is one of those “if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone” stories. I wanted out of my little hometown, and so I became a very serious student, one of just a few recruited out of high school for non-athletic purposes. I was the worldwide President of Key Club International, a National Merit Scholar, Valedictorian, and so on. I won quite a few awards, because what mattered to me most was getting into a good college. So, on the one hand, I would go to keggers and drink and try to fit in, but on the other, I wanted to get out of there. ​ I ended up going to Stanford, and once I got there, it was a whole new world. What had worked before was alcohol, so in college it was “just add drugs” – take it up a notch. I did get into some trouble, but I was always able to mimic the old Warren Zevon song, “Send lawyers, guns and money! Dad, get me out of this!” Definitely a white privilege thing. I had a successful career there. I graduated with honors in Political Science, specializing in strategic weapons systems there under professors such as Condoleezza Rice. ​ Next came three years at Georgetown Law School, where I focused on international law and diplomacy. I was very serious my first year, as one should be in law school, although I did get a DUI regardless. But through a program called “probation before judgment,” once again, there were no real consequences. The last two years though, I drank myself stupid every single night. It was never anything that seemed problematic, just the pressures of being a student, so you drank. There were a lot of people like me, or maybe it just seemed like it. Maybe there were only a few people like me, be we were always all together. ​ After law school, the Berlin Wall fell, and my planned career path suddenly seemed untenable. World peace having seemingly screwed me, I decided just to make as much money as I could. I moved back to San Francisco and got a job in a big law firm, for a while continuing to drink myself to sleep every night. Eventually, however, I acknowledged that I had a drinking problem, so I tried a cold turkey break from alcohol, which I was able to sustain for over a year, leading me to believe, of course, that I wasn’t actually an alcoholic. I could manage my drinking. ​ The law firm I had joined, Pettit & Martin, would tragically become better known as the site of the 101 California shooting in 1993, still the largest mass murder in San Francisco history. People were shot where my office had been as well as the conference room next door. I lost friends and colleagues. It was a seminal event in my adult life, as well as in the lives of many others, and it hit me harder than I might have expected. It was quite traumatic for many people. ​ My initial reaction was to quit practicing law and join a rock band, which seemed rational at the time. Of course, that’s a really suspect path for someone with a self-diagnosed alcohol issue, and it wasn’t long before our success brought us a Jaegermeister sponsorship, and from there it was off to the races again. We weren’t successful enough to make a full-time career out of music, but I was able to turn my experience in the business into a solo career as an entertainment lawyer, and I also started a record label, sensing impending doom for what I felt had become the plastic disc selling business, rather than one centered on art. I also became the entertainment law professor at UC Hastings Law School right as the Napster-fueled dot-com boom hit, which led to working with many pioneering digital media businesses. I did that for a long time. ​ Between my law practice and record company, I was living a pretty high life throughout the 90s. In 2000, however, realizing that premature digital media madness was just about to ruin the American economy, I fled to Los Angeles and I got into the movie business. So that added cocaine to the booze intake I had watched steadily and uncontrollably rise once I brought it back from its hiatus. By the time I moved to LA, I had already begun to arrange my life around drinking so that I wouldn’t have to drink and drive. Then I started arranging everything else around my drinking or in a way that could incorporate my drinking, as there were still three martini lunch producers back then (maybe still are…). Anyway, it was all well and good… until it wasn’t. ​ After about five more years of the high life, the strain of my addiction began to show in my daily life. I wasn’t holding up my part of the wonderful law partnership I had helped to found, we weren’t getting any more movies made, and my screenplays were all trapped in development hell. Not to mention that my girlfriend had decided she had better things to do with her life than tend to a drunk. A very nice drunk, but a drunk nonetheless. I figured a good geographical change would reset things, and I was pretty sure the real estate market was going to crash in any event, so selling my house and going on walkabout seemed like a good idea. ​ After a few false starts and lots of bar stool declarations of greatness to come, I finally decided that what I really wanted was to write something actually meant to be read. So I moved to wine country and wrote a novel about the music business starring, what else, a middle aged alcoholic. My days blurred into a pathetic slog of waking up, throwing up, drinking a red beer (which nobody in California had ever heard of), and then “working” from home. It became pretty easy to isolate. I’d go out for lunch in a bar for a while and be “hail fellow, well met,” but then I’d go home and continue to drink until I passed out. ​ That went on for several years until I got involved with an actress, and we decided to move back to LA. She was considerably younger than I and had a fondness for opiates. I didn’t have much awareness at the time of the incredible dangers involved there, but after we moved to LA, her actual opiate addiction became evident. We went through a terrible period of it getting worse, getting her into treatment, and then coming home and relapsing, in large part because I wasn’t staying sober myself. It was an impossible situation for us both, and the only surprise in retrospect is that our shared addiction didn’t kill us both. Opiates were terrible. With drinking I had always felt I could deal with it eventually. But with opiates, we suffered a downward spiral for 3-4 years, and it just worse and worse. There seemed to be no hope. I blew a small fortune and basically ran out of work and couldn’t be counted on to do anything. We pulled various con jobs on my sainted mother and others and spent a lot of money on rehabs, as much or more than on drugs. We sent her to very Hollywood kinds of places, more like spas than what was probably really needed, but regardless, neither of us truly had the willingness to surrender and get serious about living clean and sober. I learned a lot from that experience. I went to AA and NA some, and so did she. I had a real issue that I now recognize as my own lack of willingness, but part of it was also that I was in LA. LA is a different place. I have considerable respect for people who get sober there, but I do now believe you can do it anywhere if you’re willing. ​ Toward the end she was in rehab, and I went to Mexico for a so-called “silver bullet” treatment known as Ibogaine, which turned out to be a wicked, evil, African root bark that is basically a psychotropic that occasionally has the side effect of relieving withdrawal symptoms in some people. It’s not at all what they make it out to be, and it’s just an example of how lost and desperate I was that I would even think of doing something that insane and ridiculous. But I did, and it turns out it essentially paralyzes you from the neck down for several hours, and then there are usually some hallucinatory effects. I’d done lots of acid, but I was not prepared for this. First, the paralysis, and second, it felt like I was lying naked on a stage under a blindingly hot spotlight with a voice screaming at me about what a horrible person I was and how it would be better for all if I were dead. Eventually I started to vomit while lying paralyzed on my back, and I thought well, here we go, it’s Jimi Hendrix time, and I can finally be done with all this. And then I felt a shove in my back from behind me, but there wasn’t anyone there. Nobody noticed what was happening until I flopped over and threw up, clearing my throat and windpipe. Only then did the attendant come over, and it was clear that there wasn’t anyone there to touch me. However you want to look at it, that’s what happened. I was out of my mind for weeks afterward. I couldn’t distinguish reality from what happened in my head. It was a very bad experience. ​ I finally came out of it and decided, okay, we have to move because we can’t pay rent next month. So, I was basically ready to just OD and die. This from somebody who was given everything. I was dealt a handful of Aces, and when I misplayed them, they kept giving me wild cards, but here I was ready to fold. Obviously, there are people that had much worse things happen to them, but for me, it was a pretty big fall. So eventually I called my sister and asked for help. She looked at a bunch of Betty Ford-like places, and those were an option, but I knew what kind of option that was. She lives in Kalispell, and so she also learned about Recovery Center Missoula, which was relatively new then, and she was able to get a bed for me fairly quickly. Somehow the idea of rehab in Montana made more sense to me given my previous experience. She retrieved me from LA in February 2016 on Valentine’s Day. I abandoned my still-suffering lover and left everything I owned behind. I didn’t know that I wasn’t coming back. I thought it would be 28 days and I’d be back. I agreed to go with my sister and a few days later, I was in RCM. I went through the whole detox thing. My health had deteriorated. I had deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolisms. I was ill too on top of all of the alcoholic issues. ​ While I was here, I fell down and couldn’t get up. I was utterly powerless. Unable to even try to take on my problems myself. That was probably one of the real turning points in my recovery. I tried very hard to shut my mouth and do what I was told, regardless of what I thought, as my own thinking had proven ineffective time and again, and I had nothing less than an extraordinary experience at RCM as a result. My therapist Patrick met me on my level. He said, “Let’s just try and scratch the surface and get you ready to deal moment by moment to start,” which was a good approach. ​ My time with him was really well spent and helpful in that way, but at one point, he came back and said, “I want to go back to something you said earlier…. When you were 17, you were the worldwide president of Key Club?” I told him that I spent two-thirds of my senior year travelling all over the country and in other countries, giving speeches, talking to groups, and being the CEO of this huge high school organization. ​ He said, “That’s not really normal, you know. I suspect that you have no idea who you are and haven’t since you were 17 and adopted this approach to life. This persona has worked for you very, very well, but it’s a mask that has kept you from feeling connected to your own success, and that, along with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, has been ruining your ability to enjoy life and cope. I think when you are ready, going back and talking some of this stuff through would be a good idea.” ​ So, despite only trying to scratch the surface, his insights really gave me something to think about and opened up an opportunity for me to start over, thinking, acting, and being a revised version of what I thought I was supposed to be. For example, after I got out, Patrick suggested I move into Hands of Hope, the sober living house. And I said, “That’s not a very Joe thing to do,” and he said, “No, it’s not.” So, I knew it was the right thing to do. Fortunately, they had an opening just a week or so later, and I was able to get a room there. ​ First, however, I stayed with my mom for a little while. The first night I was out, I took the advice of virtually everyone, and went to that very important first AA meeting. It was St. Patrick ’s Day in Kalispell, and it turned out to be a really good meeting. I was still pretty raw, and I never really thought that for me AA would be a big part of my recovery. One of the things that was important to me about RCM was that it wasn’t foisted AA on me. It was just one of the choices. But I went, and I thought this was all right, and then I moved into Hands of Hope and continued to do aftercare at RCM, checking in once or twice a week. I stayed about five months at Hands of Hope, and it was a very good experience. I also did 90 in 90 for both AA and NA, which was one of the smartest pieces of advice I ever took, as I soon found how much I could get from the program. ​ I didn’t have to believe in someone else’s god or religion or even a highest power. I just needed to believe in a higher power than myself, and that I could do. As a result of that, I found a home group and have, over time, made AA a way of life in a way I never could have imagined. It taught me just how very few things in life are within my control, including absolutely everything in the past, everything in the future, and everyone else. About all I control are my own values, goals, and attitude, and to a lesser extent, what I choose to put in my mouth. But if I stay in touch with that reality and recognize my right-sized place in the Universe, no more or less, then I find I can have a conscious contact with a higher power that brings me peace of mind. ​ For this, I am grateful daily to the people who loved and didn’t give up on me, to the people and the organization (RCM) that provided such excellent care in my direst hour and set my on a road to recovery, and to AA the organization and AAs in my sober living facility, in my home group, in my present home, and everywhere for providing me with a program for living happy, joyous, and free. ​ At no point in all the high times of my prior life did I ever feel as happy, satisfied, content, or successful as I do each day now in general. That’s saying something indeed. < Previous Story Next Story>