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  • Records Request | WMMHC

    Client Request To Access Records Client Request To Access Records Please complete the electronic form below. All fields marked ( * ) are required fields. All information submitted on our website is private and confidential. Your treatment experience is strictly private and confidential, protected by federal and state law. If you need assistance in filling out our intake paperwork call 406-541-0024 To complete the form by hand: Please call 406-541-0024 to request a paper form be mailed to you. You may also download this form , scan and return by Email: referrals@wmmhc.org or Mail to: Western Montana Mental Health Center 1321 Wyoming St, Missoula, MT 59801 Please wait while we load your form

  • Client Acknowledgment | WMMHC

    Client Acknowledgment Please complete the electronic form below. All fields marked ( * ) are required fields. All information submitted on our website is private and confidential. Your treatment experience is strictly private and confidential, protected by federal and state law. If you need assistance in filling out our intake paperwork call 406-541-0024 To complete the form by hand: Please call 406-541-0024 to request a paper form be mailed to you. You may also download this form , scan and return by Email: referrals@wmmhc.org or Mail to: Western Montana Mental Health Center 1321 Wyoming St, Missoula, MT 59801 Please wait while we load your form

  • Our Team | Western Montana Mental Health Center | Montana

    Meet the Senior Leadership Team of Western Montana Mental Health. Leadership Bob Lopp Chief Executive Officer Aubrey Reed, MA, MSW, LCSW,PMH-C Chief Clinical Officer Patrick Maidman, MD Medical Director Callie Holleran, RN Director, Nursing TBD Director, Outpatient, Day Treatment, Case Management Amberlee Jorgenson, LCPC Director, PACT/MACT, PATH, Residential Group Home TBD Director of 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Cory DeStein, LPN Chief Administrative Officer TBD Director, Finance Theresa Marshall Director, Human Resources TBD Director, Information Services Ryan Bailey Director, Support Services TBD Director, SUD and Crisis Programs

  • CCBHC Consent Adult | WMMHC

    Welcome to WMMHC! Certified Community Behavioral Health Clinic Client Consent Form Please complete the electronic form below. All fields marked ( * ) are required fields. All information submitted on our website is private and confidential. Your treatment experience is strictly private and confidential, protected by federal and state law. If you need assistance in filling out our intake paperwork call 406-541-0024 To complete the application by hand: Please call 406-541-0024 to request a paper application be mailed to you. You may also download this application, scan and return via Email: referrals@wmmhc.org or Mail to: Western Montana Mental Health Center 1321 Wyoming St, Missoula, MT 59801 Please wait while we load your application

  • Who We Are | Western Montana Mental Health Center | Montana

    Western Montana Mental Health provides comprehensive health services and housing options to people of all ages facing mental health and substance use disorders. Who We Are Western Montana Mental Health provides comprehensive behavioral health services to people of all ages facing mental health and substance use disorders. We meet you where you are, and we do not turn away. We are here for those who need the kind of care that only we can provide, the way we provide it, where we provide it. We are here to support every person’s potential to dream more, achieve more, and be more. We are here to provide access to hope, meaningful life choices, and better outcomes. At Western Montana Mental Health Center, we meet people where they are, and we do not turn away. Mission & Vision Our Mission Our Mission: At WMMHC our mission is to build thriving communities through compassionate, whole-person, expert care. Our Vision: Our vision is to serve as a premiere community provider, employer, and partner in comprehensive behavioral health services. Our Values: Empathy. Integrity. Respect. Impact About About Since we opened our doors in 1971, we have been driven by the unwavering goal of providing behavioral healthcare that meets the needs of the people we serve throughout Western Montana. We've stayed true to our commitment to providing person-centered and evidence-based care in community settings. We've remained dedicated to doing what is right, not what is easy or profitable. As a licensed community-based mental health center, we have fulfilled our unique role – to be Western Montana's behavioral healthcare "safety net." We tirelessly advocate for the rights of individuals to have access to integrated services that help people overcome despair and choose hope. The only thing that has changed since our inception almost 50 years ago is how much we've grown. Provided by staff representing a diverse mix of skills and backgrounds, we have a much more comprehensive offering of services with 25 programs to meet the needs of people across the continuum of age and need. And, since 2016, we can now provide services using telemedicine technology, meaning better access for clients and more effective use of scarce resources. History History Initially, the State Department of Institutions funded and administered five community mental health clinics. One of the clinics was located in Missoula and was housed in the basement of the Student Health Center at the University of Montana. This clinic, with a staff of six, was responsible for serving the counties of Western Montana. Services were almost exclusively outpatient, and due to the limited team, outreach efforts throughout the Region were minimal. The expectation was that clients would commute to Missoula, where services would be provided within the clinic. There are old records suggesting that the clinic opened in 1942. Employees of this clinic were all staff members of the State of Montana, and they answered directly to the superintendent of the Warm Springs State Hospital. There was considerable isolation of the staff as direct contact with the State Hospital was minimal. Federal Involvement Federal Involvement Montana's interest in developing comprehensive community mental health centers was sparked by the Joint Commission on Mental Illness and Health that Congress established under the Mental Health Study Act of 1955. Montana received funds to study its mental health needs and resources, and for five years, effort was devoted to the development of a plan that would provide adequate services to the residents of Montana. With the passage of federal staffing and construction grant programs by Congress in 1963, the Montana State legislature passed complementary bills that enabled the State to become a responsible partner with the federal government in establishing regional mental health centers. Five mental health regions were established within the State and Boards, comprised of a county commissioner from each county within the Region, designated as the authority for governance of the community-based mental health programs. On July 15, 1969, the Western Montana Regional Community Mental Health Center Board submitted to the National Institute of Mental Health an application requesting federal staffing grant funds under the provision of Public Law 89-105. The program was approved on September 1, 1969—Western initiated services on January 1, 1971, utilizing local, State, and federal funds. Offices were opened in Ravalli, Lake, Sanders, Flathead, Lincoln Counties, and the existing Missoula-based outpatient office. The original (1971) staff numbered 20, including 11 clinicians, seven clerical workers, a business manager, and a regional director. Meet Our Leaders Meet Our Board Contact Us Mission & Vision | About | History | Federal Involvement

  • Toolkit References | WMMHC

    WMMHC Prevention Services Team has developed evidence-based toolkits to help parents, caregivers, and friends identify the signs of substance use in someone they care about and what they can do to help, as well as contact information for your local Montana prevention specialists.   References Learn About Prevention Services Find A Prevention Specialists Prevention Toolkits WMMHC Prevention Services Team has developed evidence-based toolkits to help parents, caregivers, and friends identify the signs of substance use in someone they care about and what they can do to help, as well as contact information for your local Montana prevention specialists. References are provided below: 1 TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN ABOUT OPIOIDS: Keeping Your Kids Safe - Samhsa.gov. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/TTHY-Opioid-Broch-2020.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 2 TIPS for TEENS: Methamphetamine- The Trun About Methamaphetamine (Meth)-Samsha.gov https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/pep18-03.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 3 TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN ABOUT VAPING: Keeping Your Kids Safe - Samhsa.gov. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/TTHY-Vaping-Broch-printable-2020.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 4 TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN ABOUT MARIJUAJNA: Keeping Your Kids Safe - Samhsa.gov. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/TTHY-Marijuana-Broch-2020.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 5 NIDA. "What is marijuana? ." National Institute on Drug Abuse, 13 Apr. 2021, https://nida.nih.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/what-marijuana Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 6 BRINGING DOWN BINGE DRINKING - Samhsa.gov. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/programs_campaigns/nation_prevention_week/data-binge-drinking.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 7 "Understanding Binge Drinking.” National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/binge-drinking 8 “Binge Drinking.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 6 Jan. 2022, https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/binge-drinking.htm 9 UNDERAGE DRINKING PREVENTION NATIONAL MEDIA CAMPAIGN: HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHILD IS DRINKING ALCOHOL - Samhsa.gov. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/tell-if-child-is-drinking_0.pdf Accessed 28 Feb. 2022. 10 Dir, A., Bell, R., Adams, Z., & Hulvershorn, L. (2017). Gender differences in risk factors for adolescent binge drinking and implications for intervention and prevention. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 8(289), 1 – 17. 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(https://www.canva.com/icons/MACo5zpzpLE-teens-winter-back-view/ ) For questions on toolkits, to request guidelines for other conditions, or to request specific lectures or training sessions, please contact us. Back to Prevention Toolkits

  • Integrated Care | WMMHC

    Together We Can Provide The Integrated Care Your Patient Needs. T ogether We Can Provide the Integrated Care Your Patient Needs We collaborate with healthcare providers in each community to ensure the total healthcare needs of our patients. Patient Referrals Programs / Treatment Call 406-541-0024 Western Montana Mental Health Center (WMMHC) is a community-based mental health and substance use provider that offers services in western Montana. The most effective approach to caring for patients with multiple healthcare needs is an integrated care model- a systematic coordination of mental health, substance use, and primary care services to produce the best outcomes for our patients. Our programs include the entire continuum of care, including crisis response teams in major population centers, crisis stabilization facilities, inpatient treatment, partial hospitalization, Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT), adult and youth group homes, mother/child residential homes, drop-in centers, medical outpatient, independent living, chemical dependency outpatient treatment, individual therapy, group therapy, community support, and vocational services. For more information about our treatment programs, click here . Patient Referrals We welcome professional referrals and work closely with physicians, social workers, nurses, therapists, and agencies to facilitate a smooth transition into treatment services. To begin the process please phone your referral to 406-541-0024 or email referrals@wmmhc.org Referrals Make Referral Now All information submitted is 100% confidential.

  • Recovery Center | WMMHC

    We provide the structure to address addiction, addictive behaviors, and emotional challenges within one setting. Get the help you deserve. Request a free confidential callback within 1 business day. Get Help Now If you are having a medical emergency call 911. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 988. Recovery Center Missoula Many individuals struggle with alcohol and drug addiction, which is often complicated by emotional or mental health issues. RCM’s professional staff is specifically trained to provide evidence-based therapies that have produced proven results. We provide the structure to address addiction, addictive behaviors, and emotional challenges within one setting. The Journey to Recovery Begins Here Recovery Center Missoula treats clients struggling with substance use involving: Alcohol Benzodiazepines (alprazolam, clonazepam, lorazepam, diazepam) Heroin and prescription opioids (oxycodone, morphine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and fentanyl) Marijuana Stimulants (cocaine, amphetamine (Adderall, Ritalin) methamphetamine) Treatment programs include an initial assessment, medication- assisted treatment (MAT), reside ntial housing, individual therapy, group therapy, and community support. Treatment Services Assessment and Diagnosis Your treatment plan starts with a comprehensive assessment that: Confirms addiction history & diagnosis Reviews medical history; evaluates nutritional needs Ascertains emotional, behavioral, or psychiatric issues Detoxification- Withdrawal Management Addiction alters neurochemistry and blocks the brains ability to produce chemicals necessary for a sense of well-being. Cravings are the physical manifestation of this altered brain chemistry and emotional addiction to the substance. Medically monitored administration of medications will serve to diminish cravings and begin neurochemical re-balance and ease the discomfort of withdrawal. Detoxification services are provided as a part of your overall treatment continuum and are not provided as a separate, standalone service. Outpatient Continuing Care – Maintaining Change We understand that maintaining change is just the beginning of your recovery experience. Continued care is provided after you complete the intensive phase of your treatment and may include groups or individual sessions from one to three times per week. Research confirms that the likelihood of long-term recovery is enhanced by continued participation in structured treatment. Intensive Outpatient: Individual and Group Therapy, up to 10 hours per week Outpatient: Individual or Group Therapy, 2-3 hours per week Peer Support Programs/ 12 Step Programs; as often as desired. Peer Recovery Support Our peer recovery support offers a network for building strong and mutually supportive relationships within their communities. Peer recovery support services are designed and provided primarily by trained and certified peers/paraprofessionals who have gained practical experience in both the process of recovery and how to sustain it. They provide social support to individuals at all stages on the continuum of change that constitutes the recovery process. How do I begin my recovery? Fill out an application and our team will contact you shortly. Assessment & Diagnosis Detoxification IP Treatment Partial Hospitalizaton Outpatient Peer Recovery Support How do you know if you or someone you care about has an addiction? Contact us for a free, confidential assessment. Our team will contact you within one business day to discuss the issues you or your loved one are experiencing and how Western Montana Mental Health Center can get you the help you deserve. Get Help Now IMAT Integrated Medication Assisted Treatment (IMAT) Opioid What is IMAT? Medication Assisted Treatment (or MAT) is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment protocol for individuals struggling with Opioid Use Disorder. Individuals who utilize MAT are three times more likely to achieve sustained recovery than those who follow more traditional approaches. What sets Recovery Center Missoula apart is our integrated approach, known as IMAT. Patients work closely with a team of professional dedicated to bringing together four essential components of recovery: Biological, Psychological, Social, and Spiritual. By assisting our patients to integrate these areas into a healthy, thriving, content whole, sustained recovery can be achieved by over 70% of patients who successfully participate in our program. What are symptoms of Opioid Use Disorder? Symptoms are characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use despite harmful consequences in the area of personal relationships, work, mental health and emotional well-being. Individuals with an OUD will typically experience tolerance (a need for more of a certain drug to achieve the desired effect) and withdrawal symptoms upon cessation of use. Diagnosis of an OUD can only come through an evaluation by a licensed professional. Can I use other substances, including alcohol?" The short answer is no. Participation in IMAT requires patients to only use medications as prescribed. Alcohol use, even in moderation, is dangerous. Is IMAT appropriate if I am pregnant? Absolutely. We work closely with you to protect you and your baby. Will IMAT help with chronic pain issues? Pain management is a complex treatment issue, and unfortunately, far too many people develop an OUD after using prescription medications for pain. IMAT and specific pain interventions will help with your condition. Are the medications used in IMAT addictive? When taken as directed, none of the medications used in our program will result in a new Substance Use Disorder. What happens if I relapse? Relapse can sometimes be part of recovery, but it doesn’t mean the end of recovery. Your treatment team will work with you to revise your treatment plan. Pregnant Chronic Pain Relapse TESTIMONIALS “The best decision I have made for my life…..” – Jeanette “Thank you all at RCM. This is a great program…… you are life savers and have meant the world to me and my family…..” Todd “RCM is an absolutely amazing place. Open up to the program and everyone here; you will gain another family, but more importantly, you will find yourself again… ” – Nate “Time at RCM can truly be life changing. Trust the process, trust yourself, and embrace the opportunities presented to you.” – Elaine “Thank you Recovery Center! I have renewed hope in my ability to stay sober. I can see a future and dreams that are possible once again. One step at a time…. “- Amber “Thank you RCM staff – I have never met a group of people so dedicated to helping others…..” -Brian About Recovery Center Missoula RCM Mission Recovery Center Missoula is committed to providing exceptional treatment to individuals and their family members suffering from addictions and co-occurring mental health disorders. Through evidenced based, cost effective, innovative, and comprehensive treatment, our professional multi-disciplinary team provides caring and respectful services to restore hope and empowerment to those we serve. Organizational Values RESPECT: We are committed to creating and sustaining an environment in which staff, patients, and others are treated with respect and dignity. BELIEF IN RECOVERY: Our services contribute to each patient’s recovery. Our focus is on developing skills which lead toward a higher level of independence and increased quality of life. HOPE: Hope is the catalyst for the recovery process and is communicated in our service methods. INDIVIDUALIZED AND PERSON CENTERED: Services are self-directed by the individual and are derived from their unique strengths and resiliencies as well as their needs, preferences, experience, and cultural background. About Recovery Center Missoula (RCM) is designed to meet the needs of those suffering from substance use disorders/ addiction and co-occurring psychiatric disorders. The Center utilizes evidence based therapeutic interventions to promote a healing recovery process that can last a lifetime. Built with native materials, filled with natural light, RCM balances privacy with therapeutic community living. RCM is located along the Clark Fork corridor adjacent to trails, open space, and the unique Missoula community. Welcome to Missoula Missoula is located in Western Montana’s beautiful Five Valleys. The area is a draw to outdoor enthusiasts of all kinds and boasts world-renowned blue-ribbon rivers, luring anglers to try their sport. Missoula is appreciated for its easy access to hiking trails, skiing, open space, cycling, hunting, fishing, golf, kayaking, and other water sports. The Big Sky mystique draws extraordinary healthcare professionals to the edge of the Rocky Mountains and provides a supportive environment for their expertise, families, and individual pursuits. As the home to the University of Montana, Missoula cultivates an educated population, the arts, and an entrepreneurial culture. The area finds its historic roots with Native Americans, explorers, and early pioneers, shaping the culture of today. While the city has a long-chronicled past, it still holds the small-town atmosphere with no more than 70,000 people. It is a perfect location for incorporating a highly trained staff, the outdoors, and a private setting for addiction treatment. The Facility Opened in 2013, the building was designed to be part of the healing process with use of ambient light, color, and distinctly natural design elements. This tasteful setting provides the foundations for confidential, therapeutic treatment. Experience Montana Inspired Menus Look forward to meals that are tastefully prepared by our skilled and experienced Chefs. Good nutrition is essential to the recovery process and fundamental to helping an individual feel their best from the inside out. Fresh, locally sourced ingredients are an important part of RCM meals. Our Chefs highlight their culinary skills in traditional Montana standards and combines the old-world tradition of European cuisine with the American holistic approach to food preparation all the way through to the table. Italian, Asian, and Spanish cooking influences their menu selections. The dining experience is an asset to the RCM experience. Recovery is not only possible, it is essential. Get the help you deserve. Insurance & Payment What to Expect Get Help Now All information submitted is 100% confidential. Assessment & Diagnosis | Detoxification- Withdrawal Management | Inpatient Treatment | Partial Hospitalization | Outpatient | Peer Recovery Support | IMAT | Opioid Use | Chronic Pain | Relapse

  • Joe's Story

    Joe's Story I grew up in Shelby on Montana’s Hi-Line. We still have a ranch up there. It is very cold, very beautiful and very windy. I never felt like I fit in. I was not an athlete. When you have a town with 3,000 people and a gymnasium that seats 5,000, you have a sense of priority. Like many people, alcohol helped me fit in in late middle school, early high school years. And certainly, there were no consequences for my alcohol use except for the positive ones of being able to suddenly be kind of cool and have friends. In high school, that was kind of the scene, but in a sense, mine is one of those “if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone” stories. I wanted out of my little hometown, and so I became a very serious student, one of just a few recruited out of high school for non-athletic purposes. I was the worldwide President of Key Club International, a National Merit Scholar, Valedictorian, and so on. I won quite a few awards, because what mattered to me most was getting into a good college. So, on the one hand, I would go to keggers and drink and try to fit in, but on the other, I wanted to get out of there. I ended up going to Stanford, and once I got there, it was a whole new world. What had worked before was alcohol, so in college it was “just add drugs” – take it up a notch. I did get into some trouble, but I was always able to mimic the old Warren Zevon song, “Send lawyers, guns and money! Dad, get me out of this!” Definitely a white privilege thing. I had a successful career there. I graduated with honors in Political Science, specializing in strategic weapons systems there under professors such as Condoleezza Rice. Next came three years at Georgetown Law School, where I focused on international law and diplomacy. I was very serious my first year, as one should be in law school, although I did get a DUI regardless. But through a program called “probation before judgment,” once again, there were no real consequences. The last two years though, I drank myself stupid every single night. It was never anything that seemed problematic, just the pressures of being a student, so you drank. There were a lot of people like me, or maybe it just seemed like it. Maybe there were only a few people like me, be we were always all together. After law school, the Berlin Wall fell, and my planned career path suddenly seemed untenable. World peace having seemingly screwed me, I decided just to make as much money as I could. I moved back to San Francisco and got a job in a big law firm, for a while continuing to drink myself to sleep every night. Eventually, however, I acknowledged that I had a drinking problem, so I tried a cold turkey break from alcohol, which I was able to sustain for over a year, leading me to believe, of course, that I wasn’t actually an alcoholic. I could manage my drinking. The law firm I had joined, Pettit & Martin, would tragically become better known as the site of the 101 California shooting in 1993, still the largest mass murder in San Francisco history. People were shot where my office had been as well as the conference room next door. I lost friends and colleagues. It was a seminal event in my adult life, as well as in the lives of many others, and it hit me harder than I might have expected. It was quite traumatic for many people. My initial reaction was to quit practicing law and join a rock band, which seemed rational at the time. Of course, that’s a really suspect path for someone with a self-diagnosed alcohol issue, and it wasn’t long before our success brought us a Jaegermeister sponsorship, and from there it was off to the races again. We weren’t successful enough to make a full-time career out of music, but I was able to turn my experience in the business into a solo career as an entertainment lawyer, and I also started a record label, sensing impending doom for what I felt had become the plastic disc selling business, rather than one centered on art. I also became the entertainment law professor at UC Hastings Law School right as the Napster-fueled dot-com boom hit, which led to working with many pioneering digital media businesses. I did that for a long time. Between my law practice and record company, I was living a pretty high life throughout the 90s. In 2000, however, realizing that premature digital media madness was just about to ruin the American economy, I fled to Los Angeles and I got into the movie business. So that added cocaine to the booze intake I had watched steadily and uncontrollably rise once I brought it back from its hiatus. By the time I moved to LA, I had already begun to arrange my life around drinking so that I wouldn’t have to drink and drive. Then I started arranging everything else around my drinking or in a way that could incorporate my drinking, as there were still three martini lunch producers back then (maybe still are…). Anyway, it was all well and good… until it wasn’t. After about five more years of the high life, the strain of my addiction began to show in my daily life. I wasn’t holding up my part of the wonderful law partnership I had helped to found, we weren’t getting any more movies made, and my screenplays were all trapped in development hell. Not to mention that my girlfriend had decided she had better things to do with her life than tend to a drunk. A very nice drunk, but a drunk nonetheless. I figured a good geographical change would reset things, and I was pretty sure the real estate market was going to crash in any event, so selling my house and going on walkabout seemed like a good idea. After a few false starts and lots of bar stool declarations of greatness to come, I finally decided that what I really wanted was to write something actually meant to be read. So I moved to wine country and wrote a novel about the music business starring, what else, a middle aged alcoholic. My days blurred into a pathetic slog of waking up, throwing up, drinking a red beer (which nobody in California had ever heard of), and then “working” from home. It became pretty easy to isolate. I’d go out for lunch in a bar for a while and be “hail fellow, well met,” but then I’d go home and continue to drink until I passed out. That went on for several years until I got involved with an actress, and we decided to move back to LA. She was considerably younger than I and had a fondness for opiates. I didn’t have much awareness at the time of the incredible dangers involved there, but after we moved to LA, her actual opiate addiction became evident. We went through a terrible period of it getting worse, getting her into treatment, and then coming home and relapsing, in large part because I wasn’t staying sober myself. It was an impossible situation for us both, and the only surprise in retrospect is that our shared addiction didn’t kill us both. Opiates were terrible. With drinking I had always felt I could deal with it eventually. But with opiates, we suffered a downward spiral for 3-4 years, and it just worse and worse. There seemed to be no hope. I blew a small fortune and basically ran out of work and couldn’t be counted on to do anything. We pulled various con jobs on my sainted mother and others and spent a lot of money on rehabs, as much or more than on drugs. We sent her to very Hollywood kinds of places, more like spas than what was probably really needed, but regardless, neither of us truly had the willingness to surrender and get serious about living clean and sober. I learned a lot from that experience. I went to AA and NA some, and so did she. I had a real issue that I now recognize as my own lack of willingness, but part of it was also that I was in LA. LA is a different place. I have considerable respect for people who get sober there, but I do now believe you can do it anywhere if you’re willing. Toward the end she was in rehab, and I went to Mexico for a so-called “silver bullet” treatment known as Ibogaine, which turned out to be a wicked, evil, African root bark that is basically a psychotropic that occasionally has the side effect of relieving withdrawal symptoms in some people. It’s not at all what they make it out to be, and it’s just an example of how lost and desperate I was that I would even think of doing something that insane and ridiculous. But I did, and it turns out it essentially paralyzes you from the neck down for several hours, and then there are usually some hallucinatory effects. I’d done lots of acid, but I was not prepared for this. First, the paralysis, and second, it felt like I was lying naked on a stage under a blindingly hot spotlight with a voice screaming at me about what a horrible person I was and how it would be better for all if I were dead. Eventually I started to vomit while lying paralyzed on my back, and I thought well, here we go, it’s Jimi Hendrix time, and I can finally be done with all this. And then I felt a shove in my back from behind me, but there wasn’t anyone there. Nobody noticed what was happening until I flopped over and threw up, clearing my throat and windpipe. Only then did the attendant come over, and it was clear that there wasn’t anyone there to touch me. However you want to look at it, that’s what happened. I was out of my mind for weeks afterward. I couldn’t distinguish reality from what happened in my head. It was a very bad experience. I finally came out of it and decided, okay, we have to move because we can’t pay rent next month. So, I was basically ready to just OD and die. This from somebody who was given everything. I was dealt a handful of Aces, and when I misplayed them, they kept giving me wild cards, but here I was ready to fold. Obviously, there are people that had much worse things happen to them, but for me, it was a pretty big fall. So eventually I called my sister and asked for help. She looked at a bunch of Betty Ford-like places, and those were an option, but I knew what kind of option that was. She lives in Kalispell, and so she also learned about Recovery Center Missoula, which was relatively new then, and she was able to get a bed for me fairly quickly. Somehow the idea of rehab in Montana made more sense to me given my previous experience. She retrieved me from LA in February 2016 on Valentine’s Day. I abandoned my still-suffering lover and left everything I owned behind. I didn’t know that I wasn’t coming back. I thought it would be 28 days and I’d be back. I agreed to go with my sister and a few days later, I was in RCM. I went through the whole detox thing. My health had deteriorated. I had deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolisms. I was ill too on top of all of the alcoholic issues. While I was here, I fell down and couldn’t get up. I was utterly powerless. Unable to even try to take on my problems myself. That was probably one of the real turning points in my recovery. I tried very hard to shut my mouth and do what I was told, regardless of what I thought, as my own thinking had proven ineffective time and again, and I had nothing less than an extraordinary experience at RCM as a result. My therapist Patrick met me on my level. He said, “Let’s just try and scratch the surface and get you ready to deal moment by moment to start,” which was a good approach. My time with him was really well spent and helpful in that way, but at one point, he came back and said, “I want to go back to something you said earlier…. When you were 17, you were the worldwide president of Key Club?” I told him that I spent two-thirds of my senior year travelling all over the country and in other countries, giving speeches, talking to groups, and being the CEO of this huge high school organization. He said, “That’s not really normal, you know. I suspect that you have no idea who you are and haven’t since you were 17 and adopted this approach to life. This persona has worked for you very, very well, but it’s a mask that has kept you from feeling connected to your own success, and that, along with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, has been ruining your ability to enjoy life and cope. I think when you are ready, going back and talking some of this stuff through would be a good idea.” So, despite only trying to scratch the surface, his insights really gave me something to think about and opened up an opportunity for me to start over, thinking, acting, and being a revised version of what I thought I was supposed to be. For example, after I got out, Patrick suggested I move into Hands of Hope, the sober living house. And I said, “That’s not a very Joe thing to do,” and he said, “No, it’s not.” So, I knew it was the right thing to do. Fortunately, they had an opening just a week or so later, and I was able to get a room there. First, however, I stayed with my mom for a little while. The first night I was out, I took the advice of virtually everyone, and went to that very important first AA meeting. It was St. Patrick ’s Day in Kalispell, and it turned out to be a really good meeting. I was still pretty raw, and I never really thought that for me AA would be a big part of my recovery. One of the things that was important to me about RCM was that it wasn’t foisted AA on me. It was just one of the choices. But I went, and I thought this was all right, and then I moved into Hands of Hope and continued to do aftercare at RCM, checking in once or twice a week. I stayed about five months at Hands of Hope, and it was a very good experience. I also did 90 in 90 for both AA and NA, which was one of the smartest pieces of advice I ever took, as I soon found how much I could get from the program. I didn’t have to believe in someone else’s god or religion or even a highest power. I just needed to believe in a higher power than myself, and that I could do. As a result of that, I found a home group and have, over time, made AA a way of life in a way I never could have imagined. It taught me just how very few things in life are within my control, including absolutely everything in the past, everything in the future, and everyone else. About all I control are my own values, goals, and attitude, and to a lesser extent, what I choose to put in my mouth. But if I stay in touch with that reality and recognize my right-sized place in the Universe, no more or less, then I find I can have a conscious contact with a higher power that brings me peace of mind. For this, I am grateful daily to the people who loved and didn’t give up on me, to the people and the organization (RCM) that provided such excellent care in my direst hour and set my on a road to recovery, and to AA the organization and AAs in my sober living facility, in my home group, in my present home, and everywhere for providing me with a program for living happy, joyous, and free. At no point in all the high times of my prior life did I ever feel as happy, satisfied, content, or successful as I do each day now in general. That’s saying something indeed. < Previous Story Next Story>

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